Living Behind the Veil

I'm often asked what I wear in Afghanistan and what it's like to wear a veil. It's freedom. Freedom to have a bad hair day, freedom to arrange my chadar to conceal the curve of my breasts and backside, freedom to not be an expatriate for a little while. It means freedom to hide even on the street from the Afghan men's eyes which seem to strip me naked.
When I relax my shoulders and walk less purposefully, less confidently, my eyes downcast and covered by sunglasses, I pass for an Afghan woman. I hear the men whisper in Dari, "Is she a foreigner or local woman?" I chuckle but am silent. On the street, I'm also a free target....freely exposed to groping, sexual innuendos whispered to me as a man bicycles by, free to have stones thrown at me, freely seen as no one's wife, daughter, sister, mother, friend, or boss. I step inside my gate, and remove my chapan and chadar. Now I'm someone's boss, motherhood returns to me as little steps run to greet me, and I receive a kiss from my adoring husband. Now I'm free to his loving and gentle eyes which know and enjoy my curves, free to once again be under the protective umbrella of being a wife, mother, friend, colleague, boss, niece, sister, daughter, woman.

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Soul Watchfulness



Jesus taught us in the last hours of his life to stay awake and watch.  Stunningly, Mark gave disproportionate amount of space to this spiritual principle compared to the rest of his book. Most of his book is hurried. There is constant movement throughout, and often details are sparse compared to the other Gospels.

But in Mark 14, he literally slows down and shares the last hours in the Garden of Gethsemane in great detail. He gives 11 verses to remaining, watching, and staying with Jesus in His sorrow in the Garden. There is so much spiritual significance in the location of this scene.

If we are to live lives that reflect a return to the Garden of Eden, a return to how God wanted us to live on this earth, we will need to be watchful.  Jesus uses the word "watch" three times in this passage. Twice He uses the imperative (command) form, which means, "You keep watch."

He amplifies in vs. 36: "Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation."

When we watch our souls, we become aware of the movements within and pray for discernment to understand when we are being led away psychologically, mentally, or spiritually from being close to Christ.

One of the first steps to watchfulness is to become aware of God's Spirit within us at all times.

How do we become aware of God at all times?

This is our need to to return to our true self, not our false self, to descend with our mind into the depths of our heart, and to seek there the "treasure hidden in the field of the inner kingdom."

I imagine that may sound strange. I never thought about the treasure being within. Isn't that self-focused? Even idolatrous?
 
What is the treasure and what does it mean to search for it inside of myself?

Jesus uses the parable of a treasure hidden in the field in Matt 13.44. Later, he states that the "Spirit will come up you" (Acts 1:8) which is a fulfillment of Jeremiah 31:31-34. The New Covenant is written in our hearts.

This is the treasure - Jesus Christ inside of each of us. When His Spirit comes in to us as our Lord and Savior, we have His Kingdom within, the Covenant between God and man. 

It is a miracle if we can tear ourselves away from the distraction and vain concerns of the world and in this way relentlessly seize hold of the kingdom of heaven within us.

How I long to experience His Divine illumination of the depths of my heart, to experience His sanctifying fire as He burns away the dross: the fears, the masques, the idolatrous fantasies, the unforgiveness, and coldness to the pain of others.

His purifying Love is inside of me. 

Watchfulness means I am aware 24/7 of being reconciled to God, and I seize hold of the true Kingdom of Heaven within and I never stray from this awareness as I go about my day.

In Genesis 2:15 He commanded us to "cultivate and guard" the Garden.  Because "the Garden" is now within (John 15), I cultivate and guard the fire of His love inside.

This takes discipline, practice, and choosing to live unhurriedly. Hurry destroys souls. "As Carl Jung wrote, "Hurry is not of the devil; hurry is the devil." What does it take to become spiritually healthy?  Dallas Willard answered "There is nothing else...You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life." (2)

I think is why the Bible teaches in Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God."   I took that verse and had an Islamic calligrapher create a beautiful picture for our home. 

I've displayed this in my home where I can be reminded daily to "Be" as I "do."

To remember, to watch, to cultivate awareness of His Spirit inside of me. 

As His Kingdom becomes more evident in my life, it becomes more "real" in the world around me.

And that is what glorifies Him.



(1) Philokalia Volume 4, Nikiphorous the Monk (This article is heavily influenced by his writings and I've put in quotes the content not paraphrased.)
(2) Ruthlessly Eliminate Hurry

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