Central Asian Culture Doesn't Work in Minnesota

It may seem obvious, but part of a global worker's overseas career is a "home assignment" usually every 4-5 years.  This means there is a lot of transition!  And part of transition as a global worker is to transition to a new (old) passport country, a new computer (usually each term), a new home, new clothes, a different grocery store and way of shopping (American vegetables are simply awful), and also.....remember the culture!  But after almost 2 decades of living in a conservative, war-torn, Muslim, Shame-Honor culture, I forgot about the culture.

Let's face it.  Minnesota culture - "Minnesota Nice" ...is its own brand of nice.
Passive-Aggressive-Nice as the book says.  But friendly-home-to-us-but-just-sort-of, because we have begun to recognize we are no longer the same Minnesotans, the same people who idealistically went overseas as new young parents/newlyweds back in 2000.

We've changed, and this time coming "home," I've continually been reminded of how I have changed and how the Minnesota culture hasn't. The amazing thing is that God's-Holy-Spirit-infused-remnant who "get it" are here, too.  It's like a little oasis in time and space when I interact with believers who have a global perspective and can see their own culture with more objectivity than others.

So, in all the frustration I was having with one particular group of supporters (aka one of our partnering churches), I thankfully have developed the dysfunctional reflex of "what is wrong with me" and discovered that this time it was a good response to have - I discovered I was operating in a Central Asian/Shame and Honor culture and they weren't.  When I adapted, things went so much more smoothly.  It left me feeling lonely and longing for life overseas, but at least plans were moving forward in a much more positive direction on the calendar and in my heart.

So remember your global workers have to leave one entirely different culture and transition back to their passport culture, and give them space, time, and grace.  Let them be a little "messy" as they work through transition.  Transition by definition includes loss and change on a scale which people who never leave in the same way can understand. Grace needs to go both ways in understanding each other. No, I no longer love everything about America - there are so many things I miss about life in the Middle East, including my high quality mop! But I'll almost never say no to some good Ben & Jerry's New York Super Chunk Fudge icecream!

I've also been grateful to see a spark of love develop in my heart for my adopted "hometown" that we just settled into.  They have a great deal of pride in their old "motherland" here and have a harvest parade every fall, even pronouncing the parade in the mother tongue correctly. It's rare to see a town take such pride, but it's kinda nice being on the outside of a small town and seeing how everyone knows everyone.

Most of my married life has been overseas in Muslim cultures, moving 20 times in 18 years of marriage with 5 years of living homelessly before marriage.  So its kinda strange to see up close, in a language I fully understand, people living in one place their entire life, and I begin to get a glimpse of how they see (and don't see) the rest of the world. There's a lot to learn here, including how I've changed, which I'm just beginning to discover.

Theology of Failure

Perhaps aging develops a more pragmatic attitude towards failure, or perhaps simple the sheer guts to persevere in overseas ministry for more than 23 years and experience deep failure and mountain top successes have given me the ability to embrace failure a little easier.

I'd like to hope that my life exemplifies the old adage "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger" (and wiser).

I was startled by this idea of a God-sanctioned Theology Failure in a teaching by Kenneth Bailey.  He stated that Jesus gave his disciples a "theology of failure" when he sent them out in Mark 6:6-13.

Here is what Kenneth Bailey has to say,

He essentially tells them: If you are welcomed into any home - well and good - fulfill your ministry while based in that place and don't move about looking for more comfortable lodgings. If they do not receive you, shake off the dust "under the feet." This refers to the dust stirred up by your feet that permeates your clothing. Shaking it off is a symbolic gesture that means "I am finished with you and am leaving. Furthermore, as I leave, I take nothing from this house, not even its dust" (Acts 13:51, 18:6). This dramatic gesture can help the apostles leave behind them any lingering sense of failure. It frees them to go on (like Paul and his band) to the next home or village "filled with joy and the Holy Spirit" (Acts 13:52). Having tried and failed, they must move on. It is astounding to see Jesus on this very first outreach beyond the range of his voice offering advice on how to deal with failure. This extraordinary exit strategy is in harmony with his entry strategy - to go on need, not in power and conquering or with aid to ensure a welcome. 

What an astonishing and equipping idea - to equip the newest generation of global workers with the idea of a theology of failure. What a freeing idea! 

You mean it's not all up to me? 

I can be sent into a high-risk, abrasive and war-torn culture where I don't know the language very well, where the Mullah's preach against foreigners on a weekly basis, where stones are thrown at me, where the people (my neighbors) don't like me simply because I'm American, (or Western, or educated, or a Christian) and I can accept that some will accept me (and Christ) and some will despise me (and Christ)? 

How much better would our folks thrive on the field if they embraced this teaching of Jesus! Would that His Body affirms His people for faithfulness not apparent success driven by numbers.

He does.

No Need for a Faith Crisis

She sat in the far back, closest to the door as if ready to bolt when it was over, but I could tell she was  listening intently. Immediately after we were finished giving the presentation on our past five years living in the Middle East and ministering across Central Asia, I went up and introduced myself to her before she could leave and asked her how she knew about the local meeting with our partners (last month). She began to share about the first time she heard me teach from John's Gospel and how she's read our newsletters for years.

When I asked what church she is a member of, tears welled up in her eyes as she explained she'd been in a faith crisis for so long because of church and just hasn't been able to attend church much in the last year. "They are all too perfect" she explained. "They talk about how they hear from God, they wear beautiful clothes, their lives look so perfect. My life isn't like that. Thank you for sharing what is hard for you, what didn't go well for you and Neal overseas," she added.

We receive this response frequently after one of our presentations or teachings.  Neal and I make it a point to share what is hard for us, where we struggled, and how God has helped us, and so far, it's never "back fired" on us.  To the contrary, it seems to minister more to people when we share our failures, our losses, what disappointments we've had. They are attracted to vulnerability and authenticity, especially from public leaders.

In a cross-cultural ministry setting, we global workers often go into crisis over wrong expectations of God and of other Christ-followers who don't behave the way we expect them to behave. In the same way, there seems to be a pervasive crisis among American Christ followers over how the American church is behaving.   I let her know she is not alone, that there are clear reasons for why the Church is the way she is in America, why so many are in crisis, and that there is a path out of it.

One step on the path is to realize that in every generation there is always a remnant of His followers who understand, who have a depth and an intimacy that is uncommon among the majority. This godly remnant has always been dissatisfied with the status quo.

Since returning to the USA for our 1-year home assignment, we've been amazed at how many of our friends and acquaintances are disenfranchised over Sunday morning church and are looking for a more authentic, deeper relational experience with God and with others. They don't appreciate Sunday morning entertainment and emotional manipulation.

We also hear from global workers who crave to experience a deeper relationship with Him, and respond well to being challenged and by elders who share and teach authentically. God is clearly doing something around the world to woo His people to want more, crave more of Him, but there are too few guides to show the way.

I encouraged her to consider choosing to step off the path of a faith crisis, recognize that there are clear reasons why the American church in her present state is not able to meet her needs and to find the authentic remnant who can help journey with her.  I love meeting with people like her who are hungry for more, who recognize that there is so much more to the Christian life than what is currently on offer.   

My prayer for my heart and for the hearts of my children and for all those like my friend-in-crisis is that we will grow in our unconditional love for His Bride, in whatever culture and nation she is found, and winsomly demonstrate a different path for all those wanting to know more of Him and grow deeper in intimacy with our Heavenly Father.