Living Behind the Veil

I'm often asked what I wear in Afghanistan and what it's like to wear a veil. It's freedom. Freedom to have a bad hair day, freedom to arrange my chadar to conceal the curve of my breasts and backside, freedom to not be an expatriate for a little while. It means freedom to hide even on the street from the Afghan men's eyes which seem to strip me naked.
When I relax my shoulders and walk less purposefully, less confidently, my eyes downcast and covered by sunglasses, I pass for an Afghan woman. I hear the men whisper in Dari, "Is she a foreigner or local woman?" I chuckle but am silent. On the street, I'm also a free target....freely exposed to groping, sexual innuendos whispered to me as a man bicycles by, free to have stones thrown at me, freely seen as no one's wife, daughter, sister, mother, friend, or boss. I step inside my gate, and remove my chapan and chadar. Now I'm someone's boss, motherhood returns to me as little steps run to greet me, and I receive a kiss from my adoring husband. Now I'm free to his loving and gentle eyes which know and enjoy my curves, free to once again be under the protective umbrella of being a wife, mother, friend, colleague, boss, niece, sister, daughter, woman.

Monday, February 26, 2018

The Meaning of How We Meet Death

When one is called to risk for Christ's sake, how we meet death is a sign of how we have met life.


There are those who seem to think it is enough to simply exist and persevere in a high risk situation, that in persevering we have become spiritually noble or spiritual heroes.

The non-suffering Church naively heralds such people. 

There are those who seem to think that risking anything for Christ means we have become someone we are not.

There are those who "market" for the sake of money or influence the death of people who have died in risk, who indeed were foolish and did not live day-to-day in their relationships in a way that glorifies God.

It takes real discernment to understand the meaning of our life--and potential death--when in a high-risk situation.

"There is meaning beyond absurdity [or chaos]. Know that every deed counts, that every word is power...Above all, remember that you must build your life as if it were a work of art."(1)

So what is the meaning?

We cannot choose the biggest death, the one that most glorifies God, if we are not choosing on a day-to-day basis in our most ignoble or non-seen moments that which glorifies God and demonstrates His kindness to those around us.

From the team members who cannot get along, the one who "never forgave and never respected" the leader, from the husband who abuses his wife, to those who criticize, slander and withhold approval - these are not qualities that lead to a Christ-exalting life nor a Christ-exalting death.

  • We meet death well when we live sacrificially, when we don't live in a place of mourning or silence but of praise and indebtedness to a God who bled for us and who died to break the power of death over us. 
  • We meet death well when we continue serving Him, loving Him, even when we want to walk away, when the pain or the potential pain in risk (or in life) seems too great. 
  • We meet death well when we give all of our heart to love others well, even when misunderstood, slandered, and judged, just as He was. 
 When we meet death with a sense of wonder, praise, indebtedness on our lips, our death--and our life--has the highest meaning possible. When we meet death knowing that our life is part of God's life on this earth, that we have brought His presence to others, when we live in a constant state of awareness of the holy dimension of living, then our our death glorifies God the greatest. 




(1) Abraham Heschel, "I Asked For Wonder" and in interview with NBC.


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