Living Behind the Veil

I'm often asked what I wear in Afghanistan and what it's like to wear a veil. It's freedom. Freedom to have a bad hair day, freedom to arrange my chadar to conceal the curve of my breasts and backside, freedom to not be an expatriate for a little while. It means freedom to hide even on the street from the Afghan men's eyes which seem to strip me naked.
When I relax my shoulders and walk less purposefully, less confidently, my eyes downcast and covered by sunglasses, I pass for an Afghan woman. I hear the men whisper in Dari, "Is she a foreigner or local woman?" I chuckle but am silent. On the street, I'm also a free target....freely exposed to groping, sexual innuendos whispered to me as a man bicycles by, free to have stones thrown at me, freely seen as no one's wife, daughter, sister, mother, friend, or boss. I step inside my gate, and remove my chapan and chadar. Now I'm someone's boss, motherhood returns to me as little steps run to greet me, and I receive a kiss from my adoring husband. Now I'm free to his loving and gentle eyes which know and enjoy my curves, free to once again be under the protective umbrella of being a wife, mother, friend, colleague, boss, niece, sister, daughter, woman.

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

What's a Girl to Do?

I've moved 20 times in our 19 years of marriage, and set up house in 5 countries.  This means I've left behind a lot of clothes and shoes in many places, and started my seasonal wardrobes over as many times.

Being a girl who likes lots of shoes for every occasion, I've kinda been forced into minimalism due to kilo and space restrictions. 

People in the faith-based work are not known as style or fashion icons. However, it's important to become "all things to all people" in such a manner that my clothing is not a distraction or impedes connecting with people for the sake of the Gospel. 

So I pay careful attention to my clothing in all the cultures I find myself in. 

I was a bit kerflummoxed recently when beginning to prepare to go to Africa to give the RAM Training in a few weeks.

In Central Asia, modest women are required to wear pants, and either a long blouse or a skirt over the pants. I've chosen to just wear pants and a long blouse. Since it gets cold, it requires clothes for 4 seasons. It's not modest to show arms or much of an ankle. None of those clothes will work in Africa.

In America, I try to wear clothes that are modern and contemporary and work for the audiences I speak to here, often middle class and upper-middle class.  Long skirts and modest blouses?  When were those last in style in America?

However, in Africa, modest women will wear long skirts and not pants, and apparently sleeveless shirts and blouses are okay. And it's hot, so the clothes have to be summer weight.

I also need my outfits in all these cultural situations to be able to work as "presentation" clothes, ones which work to the multi-generational multi-cultural audiences I speak to, as well as carefully be modest but stylish as Neal and I are often speaking to men and women. 

How can I live the minimalist lifestyle on a restricted budget when I need clothes for every occasion in three very different cultures, with the shoes that match? 

Wish I could live in jeans, a t-shirt, and slip-on loafers. 

Okay, not really. 

Sure is nice to have an excuse to thrift shop again, hunting for "new" sandals. They were $3 on Sunday's 50% off day.

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