Hesed, חֶסֶד
We, though, are going to love—love and be loved.
First we were loved, now we love.
He loved us first.
I John 4:19, The Message
- What does it mean to live every moment knowing first hand, experientially, that one is totally accepted, completely and unconditionally loved?
- What is it like to experience undeserved kindness?
- What is it like to be loved, even when I have failed, feel like a failure, and feel like everyone else seems to find me unloveable?
- What is it like to be loved even when others have rejected me?
- What is it like to have someone else simply enjoy me for me?
These experiences of love and kindness are all too often uncommon experiences in our family relationships. Most of us "perform" to get acceptance and love, and most of us give our approval and love to our loved ones by expressing "how proud we are of them" for their actions, for their successes.
Being loved unreservedly simply because we are is a life-altering experience.
Choosing to accept that love is even more transformational.
Men and women who love like this are conduits of God's unconditional love and kindness. In the Old Testament, His love is described with the word, "Hesed." It is found over 245 times and most often refers to God's unconditional loving kindness. This word is only found in Hebrew. There are no "cognates" in neighboring languages. In other words, no other god is described with lovingkindness. He alone is a unique God above all gods.
Hesed also has no exact English translation equivalent and is best explained through four related concepts: (1)
"First, hesed is benevolence toward another without prior obligation for demonstrating this act of kindness but within the context of some existing relationship. Hesed begins with pure compassion within some already existing connection. It might be bloodline, treaty, nation, tribe, group affiliation or any number of connections, but there must be some relationship between the parties.As Skip Moen also wrote,
Secondly, once I experience hesed, it creates reciprocity. When someone shows hesed toward me, I am then obligated to show it to him.
Third, hesed requires extension. If I experience hesed, I am expected to pass it on to someone else. I am expected to extend this experience toward another, not just respond to the person who started the chain.
Finally, it is obvious that hesed cannot be isolated to the individual. Everything about hesed is relational. Hesed does not exist without community."
Hesed is experiencing the result of acting as God acts with regard to others, His creation and Him. Love is a verb, a way of being in the world that fully embraces who we are together under the sovereign blessing of our Creator.
There is no biblical debate whatsoever that God is love. The only real question is whether or not we express the same quality...John equates our loving with knowing God’s love. It is fundamentally about others, not ourselves. According to John, if you can’t express benevolent compassion, trustworthy reciprocity and extended selflessness toward others, then you don’t know God’s love either."
Being loved by Neal has been and continues to be an experience of God's hesedness through Neal's hesedness towards me. Just as we love because He first loved us, so does Neal love well because of Christ's love for him and in him.
The New Testament "mirror" reflecting that love in our human relationships is I Corinthians 13, where agape love is described. Agape is the Greek equivalent to the Hebrew Hesed.
- Commitment
- Loyalty
- Kindness
- Faithfulness
- Patience
- Reliable
- Humble
- Durable
Indulge me for sharing this on our wedding anniversary today. Words cannot express how grateful I am for how Neal has demonstrated God's hesedness towards me these past 20 years.
The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
1 John 4:8
Let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me,
that I am the Lord who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on earth;
for I delight in these things,” declares the Lord.
Jeremiah 9:24
(1) Applied Hesedness
