Living Behind the Veil

I'm often asked what I wear in Afghanistan and what it's like to wear a veil. It's freedom. Freedom to have a bad hair day, freedom to arrange my chadar to conceal the curve of my breasts and backside, freedom to not be an expatriate for a little while. It means freedom to hide even on the street from the Afghan men's eyes which seem to strip me naked.
When I relax my shoulders and walk less purposefully, less confidently, my eyes downcast and covered by sunglasses, I pass for an Afghan woman. I hear the men whisper in Dari, "Is she a foreigner or local woman?" I chuckle but am silent. On the street, I'm also a free target....freely exposed to groping, sexual innuendos whispered to me as a man bicycles by, free to have stones thrown at me, freely seen as no one's wife, daughter, sister, mother, friend, or boss. I step inside my gate, and remove my chapan and chadar. Now I'm someone's boss, motherhood returns to me as little steps run to greet me, and I receive a kiss from my adoring husband. Now I'm free to his loving and gentle eyes which know and enjoy my curves, free to once again be under the protective umbrella of being a wife, mother, friend, colleague, boss, niece, sister, daughter, woman.

Φιλοκαλία

On the Love of the Beautiful...wisdom from our elders. 


Rublev's Trinity (1) is slowly becoming a helpful picture to me in my relationship with God. Imagine sitting at this table with the Trinity - that's what the mirror is for at the front of the table - to reflect me (you) sitting there. After watching the movie, The Shack, I was able to get a better (modern) picture of sitting at the dinner table with the Trinity that helped me better incorporate Rublev's picture in my heart.

This table is a table where the warmth of good friends, excellent food, depth of conversation and deep-belly-shaking-laughter happens. It is a place of unqualified acceptance, unmerited approval, and unconditional love just because. 

There is great wisdom to be found from the Russian and Greek mystics of previous centuries.  The four volumes of the Philokalia (2) as well as The Way of the Pilgrim (3) are gold mines of treasures for developing the spiritual inner life.

(Using what is helpful and leaving the rest - just as with any tradition or denomination; 
No single culture, theologian, or denomination has a corner on interpretation of absolute truth).

It is my privilege to share here from my past six years of my learning from them, synthesized and re-worked through the lens of an Orthodox Evangelical perspective.




(1) The Trinity is an icon created by Russian painter Andrei Rublev in the 15th century. It is his most famous work and the most famous of all Russian icons, and it is regarded as one of the highest achievements of Russian art. (From Google)
(2) The Philokalia Volume 4
(3) The Way of the Pilgrim and The Pilgrim Continues His Way, trans R. M. French, Intro by Huston Smith

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