Living Behind the Veil

I'm often asked what I wear in Afghanistan and what it's like to wear a veil. It's freedom. Freedom to have a bad hair day, freedom to arrange my chadar to conceal the curve of my breasts and backside, freedom to not be an expatriate for a little while. It means freedom to hide even on the street from the Afghan men's eyes which seem to strip me naked.
When I relax my shoulders and walk less purposefully, less confidently, my eyes downcast and covered by sunglasses, I pass for an Afghan woman. I hear the men whisper in Dari, "Is she a foreigner or local woman?" I chuckle but am silent. On the street, I'm also a free target....freely exposed to groping, sexual innuendos whispered to me as a man bicycles by, free to have stones thrown at me, freely seen as no one's wife, daughter, sister, mother, friend, or boss. I step inside my gate, and remove my chapan and chadar. Now I'm someone's boss, motherhood returns to me as little steps run to greet me, and I receive a kiss from my adoring husband. Now I'm free to his loving and gentle eyes which know and enjoy my curves, free to once again be under the protective umbrella of being a wife, mother, friend, colleague, boss, niece, sister, daughter, woman.

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

The Language of Silence



While I am still working on mastering two languages, and between Neal and I we now have over 8 languages we've learned to various levels of skill, one language is even more important:

Silence. 


Silence is God's first language;
everything else is a poor translation.
In order to hear that language,
we must learn to be still
and to rest in God.

Thomas Keating


Sometimes it feels like God is silent. It sure can feel that way. 
His apparent silence is our noise drowning out His still, small voice.


Silence gently draws us to our depth. 
By letting go of our many words, 
we are drawn 
to that one Word made flesh, 
that Word that gives life and power 
to all of our spoken words.
Betty J Skinner

Be still and know that I am God. 
Psalm 46:10

But the Lord is in his holy temple; let all the earth keep silence before him. 
 Habakkuk 2:20

The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.   
Exodus 14:14 

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.
 Isaiah 30:5

The Holy Fathers taught: (Philokalia Vol 2 p 387)

Deep inner silence goes far beyond a lack of noise and freedom from speaking. Instead, the entire inner life remains in a state of inner tranquility, mental quietness, and concentration, deepened by the practice of constant prayer and guarding the heart and mind. 

It is not simply silence, but an attitude of listening to God and of continual openness towards Him. 

The path to this inner reality requires constant diligence and return, until we are able to maintain it. It may take years of practice and failure, but it is possible.