Living Behind the Veil

I'm often asked what I wear in Afghanistan and what it's like to wear a veil. It's freedom. Freedom to have a bad hair day, freedom to arrange my chadar to conceal the curve of my breasts and backside, freedom to not be an expatriate for a little while. It means freedom to hide even on the street from the Afghan men's eyes which seem to strip me naked.
When I relax my shoulders and walk less purposefully, less confidently, my eyes downcast and covered by sunglasses, I pass for an Afghan woman. I hear the men whisper in Dari, "Is she a foreigner or local woman?" I chuckle but am silent. On the street, I'm also a free target....freely exposed to groping, sexual innuendos whispered to me as a man bicycles by, free to have stones thrown at me, freely seen as no one's wife, daughter, sister, mother, friend, or boss. I step inside my gate, and remove my chapan and chadar. Now I'm someone's boss, motherhood returns to me as little steps run to greet me, and I receive a kiss from my adoring husband. Now I'm free to his loving and gentle eyes which know and enjoy my curves, free to once again be under the protective umbrella of being a wife, mother, friend, colleague, boss, niece, sister, daughter, woman.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Jesus Came To My Door Today

The rice was cooking, salad dressing had to be made, dinner needed to be served in 5 minutes so the guys could get to their meeting.  The doorbell rings. Quick glance at the clock...too early for the building worker to pick up the daily trash.

"Yes?" I inquire as I open the front door. The young man shoves some candles in my face and quotes the price. My mind races, "Who let him in? We're supposed to have good security in this apartment! Now I have to deal with him!"

I notice he is nicely dressed, and is clean, and at least is trying to sell something and not just beg, but I refuse to take the candles he is trying to hand me, and barely listen to his explanation in the local language of raising money for school. His broad, hopeful smile shines as he stammers out his explanation for selling candles.

I begin to shut the door, and he increases the speed of his explanation and tries again.  I ignore him, and almost have the door shut, thank goodness. He tries one last desperate time, but success! The door is shut.

The rice is rescued. Dinner proceeds at a tranquil pace. But my heart is smitten with guilt.  Yet one more time, living in Central Asia, I missed my lover of my soul. Jesus came, and I shut the door in his face. 

"I was hungry and you gave me me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.  Then the righteous will answer him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?' And the King will answer him, 'Truly I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me." --Jesus (Matt. 25:35-40)

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