Living Behind the Veil

I'm often asked what I wear in Afghanistan and what it's like to wear a veil. It's freedom. Freedom to have a bad hair day, freedom to arrange my chadar to conceal the curve of my breasts and backside, freedom to not be an expatriate for a little while. It means freedom to hide even on the street from the Afghan men's eyes which seem to strip me naked.
When I relax my shoulders and walk less purposefully, less confidently, my eyes downcast and covered by sunglasses, I pass for an Afghan woman. I hear the men whisper in Dari, "Is she a foreigner or local woman?" I chuckle but am silent. On the street, I'm also a free target....freely exposed to groping, sexual innuendos whispered to me as a man bicycles by, free to have stones thrown at me, freely seen as no one's wife, daughter, sister, mother, friend, or boss. I step inside my gate, and remove my chapan and chadar. Now I'm someone's boss, motherhood returns to me as little steps run to greet me, and I receive a kiss from my adoring husband. Now I'm free to his loving and gentle eyes which know and enjoy my curves, free to once again be under the protective umbrella of being a wife, mother, friend, colleague, boss, niece, sister, daughter, woman.

Showing posts with label Philokalia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Philokalia. Show all posts

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Three Giant Enemies of the Soul

Part of spiritual maturity and spiritual wisdom is alert watchfulness of one's own soul.  It requires paying attention to the movements of the soul, to whether one is in a state of consolation or desolation.

This is termed discrimination, or discernment of the spirits:

...the ability to distinguish between thoughts and feelings inspired by God and those inspired by the devil and those of our own free will.

Am I moving towards or away from God in my mind, feelings, and will (soul)? 

This is what the Bible calls "guarding your heart."

"Above all else, guard your heart, for from it flows the springs of life." 
Proverbs 4:23

 What are we guarding our hearts from? 

The three powerful giant enemies of the soul have been spoken of by our church fathers and Gods' Word for thousands of years:  Forgetfulness; Sloth; and Ignorance.

The opposite of Forgetfulness is Specific Remembrance. 
The opposite of Sloth is Active Engagement
The opposite of Ignorance is Wise Knowledge

The Bible is clear on what we are to remember: 
  • Deuteronomy 6:12 "Then take care lest you forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery." 
  • Acts 20:35 "...remember the words of the Lord Jesus," 
  • 2 Thessalonians 2:15 "So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the traditions that you were taught by us, either by our spoken word or by our letter."

The Bible tells us to avoid sloth and engage in service of our King: 
  • Proverbs 18:9 "Whoever is slack in his work is a brother to him who destroys."
  • Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men," 
  • Romans 12:11 "Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord." 
  • 1 Timothy 5:13 "Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not."
  • Isaiah 56:10 "His watchmen are blind; they are all without knowledge; they are all silent dogs; they cannot bark, dreaming, lying down, loving to slumber.
  • Acts 17:21 "Now all the Athenians and the foreigners who lived there would spend their time in nothing except telling or hearing something new."
  • 2 Thessalonians 3:11 "For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies." 
  • Hebrews 6:12 "So that you may not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises."
  • Matthew 25:18 "But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master's money."

Wise Knowledge requires our active pursuit and discernment:
  • Hosea 4:6 "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge; because you have rejected knowledge, I reject you from being a priest to me. And since you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children."
  • 1 John 4:1 "Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world."
  • Acts 3:17 “And now, brothers, I know that you acted in ignorance, as did also your rulers."
  • 1 Timothy 1:13 Though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief."

When we allow these three giants into our soul, the rest of self-indulgent narcissistic leanings flourish in our souls.  Many Christians are ignorant of these three giants and how to combat them.

Watchfulness, standing guard, means coming aware that one needs to be aware and alert, then attentiveness to the movements within the soul and discernment to correctly name what is happening.

With help from God above, a mentor or spiritual director experienced in such matters, and constant prayer, the Christ follower will be able to remain alert to which giants one is more susceptible to and how to close the spiritual door to their influences.

(Using what is helpful from the Philokalia and leaving the rest - just as with any tradition or denomination; No single culture, theologian, or denomination has a corner on interpretation of absolute truth).
*From Abba Mark's Letter to Nicolas, p. 199 of Volume 4 of Philokalia. 

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Soul Watchfulness



Jesus taught us in the last hours of his life to stay awake and watch.  Stunningly, Mark gave disproportionate amount of space to this spiritual principle compared to the rest of his book. Most of his book is hurried. There is constant movement throughout, and often details are sparse compared to the other Gospels.

But in Mark 14, he literally slows down and shares the last hours in the Garden of Gethsemane in great detail. He gives 11 verses to remaining, watching, and staying with Jesus in His sorrow in the Garden. There is so much spiritual significance in the location of this scene.

If we are to live lives that reflect a return to the Garden of Eden, a return to how God wanted us to live on this earth, we will need to be watchful.  Jesus uses the word "watch" three times in this passage. Twice He uses the imperative (command) form, which means, "You keep watch."

He amplifies in vs. 36: "Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation."

When we watch our souls, we become aware of the movements within and pray for discernment to understand when we are being led away psychologically, mentally, or spiritually from being close to Christ.

One of the first steps to watchfulness is to become aware of God's Spirit within us at all times.

How do we become aware of God at all times?

This is our need to to return to our true self, not our false self, to descend with our mind into the depths of our heart, and to seek there the "treasure hidden in the field of the inner kingdom."

I imagine that may sound strange. I never thought about the treasure being within. Isn't that self-focused? Even idolatrous?
 
What is the treasure and what does it mean to search for it inside of myself?

Jesus uses the parable of a treasure hidden in the field in Matt 13.44. Later, he states that the "Spirit will come up you" (Acts 1:8) which is a fulfillment of Jeremiah 31:31-34. The New Covenant is written in our hearts.

This is the treasure - Jesus Christ inside of each of us. When His Spirit comes in to us as our Lord and Savior, we have His Kingdom within, the Covenant between God and man. 

It is a miracle if we can tear ourselves away from the distraction and vain concerns of the world and in this way relentlessly seize hold of the kingdom of heaven within us.

How I long to experience His Divine illumination of the depths of my heart, to experience His sanctifying fire as He burns away the dross: the fears, the masques, the idolatrous fantasies, the unforgiveness, and coldness to the pain of others.

His purifying Love is inside of me. 

Watchfulness means I am aware 24/7 of being reconciled to God, and I seize hold of the true Kingdom of Heaven within and I never stray from this awareness as I go about my day.

In Genesis 2:15 He commanded us to "cultivate and guard" the Garden.  Because "the Garden" is now within (John 15), I cultivate and guard the fire of His love inside.

This takes discipline, practice, and choosing to live unhurriedly. Hurry destroys souls. "As Carl Jung wrote, "Hurry is not of the devil; hurry is the devil." What does it take to become spiritually healthy?  Dallas Willard answered "There is nothing else...You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life." (2)

I think is why the Bible teaches in Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God."   I took that verse and had an Islamic calligrapher create a beautiful picture for our home. 

I've displayed this in my home where I can be reminded daily to "Be" as I "do."

To remember, to watch, to cultivate awareness of His Spirit inside of me. 

As His Kingdom becomes more evident in my life, it becomes more "real" in the world around me.

And that is what glorifies Him.



(1) Philokalia Volume 4, Nikiphorous the Monk (This article is heavily influenced by his writings and I've put in quotes the content not paraphrased.)
(2) Ruthlessly Eliminate Hurry