Unhelpful Things People Say in Risk #7

This series is based on real statements actually heard in risk situations.

#7 "This Too Shall Pass."

A worker is sharing a risk situation with a veteran on the field or supporter back home, not knowing what to do, and receives this response, "This too shall pass." Being on the receiving end of this statement, a "tape" of synonymous thoughts implied by this statement begin playing in my head:

• "I'm making too big of a deal about the risk, threat, danger - whatever it is that is causing my anxiety.
• "I'm being weak, not strong like the other person, because clearly that threat isn't bothering them.
• "I'm reading the situation wrong"
• "I would know this if I had been here as long as him/her.

I've always found Daniel 4:3 to be so inspiring and calming - God's Kingdom will go on forever and ever. It helps me to keep my eyes up to know that one day, all will be made right.  But it still doesn't answer the urgent question, the urgent demand, of knowing what to do TODAY.

There are no guarantees that "it shall pass," so it seems a bit condescending and arrogant to suggest that one knows this.

As with all the previous unhelpful statements discussed, a worker needs help in discernment and decision making when they share.  Giving a trite statement like this is really self-serving for the individual saying it, and is slothfulness of soul because there is an unwillingness to really help the worker sort through what is the risks, dangers, threats.

Let's be the spiritual mothers and fathers needed by all those serving in dangerous places and graciously and humbly help those trying to work out what it means to persevere in hard situations.


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Unhelpful Things People Say in Risk #6

Central Asian Culture Doesn't Work in Minnesota

It may seem obvious, but part of a global worker's overseas career is a "home assignment" usually every 4-5 years.  This means there is a lot of transition!  And part of transition as a global worker is to transition to a new (old) passport country, a new computer (usually each term), a new home, new clothes, a different grocery store and way of shopping (American vegetables are simply awful), and also.....remember the culture!  But after almost 2 decades of living in a conservative, war-torn, Muslim, Shame-Honor culture, I forgot about the culture.

Let's face it.  Minnesota culture - "Minnesota Nice" ...is its own brand of nice.
Passive-Aggressive-Nice as the book says.  But friendly-home-to-us-but-just-sort-of, because we have begun to recognize we are no longer the same Minnesotans, the same people who idealistically went overseas as new young parents/newlyweds back in 2000.

We've changed, and this time coming "home," I've continually been reminded of how I have changed and how the Minnesota culture hasn't. The amazing thing is that God's-Holy-Spirit-infused-remnant who "get it" are here, too.  It's like a little oasis in time and space when I interact with believers who have a global perspective and can see their own culture with more objectivity than others.

So, in all the frustration I was having with one particular group of supporters (aka one of our partnering churches), I thankfully have developed the dysfunctional reflex of "what is wrong with me" and discovered that this time it was a good response to have - I discovered I was operating in a Central Asian/Shame and Honor culture and they weren't.  When I adapted, things went so much more smoothly.  It left me feeling lonely and longing for life overseas, but at least plans were moving forward in a much more positive direction on the calendar and in my heart.

So remember your global workers have to leave one entirely different culture and transition back to their passport culture, and give them space, time, and grace.  Let them be a little "messy" as they work through transition.  Transition by definition includes loss and change on a scale which people who never leave in the same way can understand. Grace needs to go both ways in understanding each other. No, I no longer love everything about America - there are so many things I miss about life in the Middle East, including my high quality mop! But I'll almost never say no to some good Ben & Jerry's New York Super Chunk Fudge icecream!

I've also been grateful to see a spark of love develop in my heart for my adopted "hometown" that we just settled into.  They have a great deal of pride in their old "motherland" here and have a harvest parade every fall, even pronouncing the parade in the mother tongue correctly. It's rare to see a town take such pride, but it's kinda nice being on the outside of a small town and seeing how everyone knows everyone.

Most of my married life has been overseas in Muslim cultures, moving 20 times in 18 years of marriage with 5 years of living homelessly before marriage.  So its kinda strange to see up close, in a language I fully understand, people living in one place their entire life, and I begin to get a glimpse of how they see (and don't see) the rest of the world. There's a lot to learn here, including how I've changed, which I'm just beginning to discover.