Living Behind the Veil

I'm often asked what I wear in Afghanistan and what it's like to wear a veil. It's freedom. Freedom to have a bad hair day, freedom to arrange my chadar to conceal the curve of my breasts and backside, freedom to not be an expatriate for a little while. It means freedom to hide even on the street from the Afghan men's eyes which seem to strip me naked.
When I relax my shoulders and walk less purposefully, less confidently, my eyes downcast and covered by sunglasses, I pass for an Afghan woman. I hear the men whisper in Dari, "Is she a foreigner or local woman?" I chuckle but am silent. On the street, I'm also a free target....freely exposed to groping, sexual innuendos whispered to me as a man bicycles by, free to have stones thrown at me, freely seen as no one's wife, daughter, sister, mother, friend, or boss. I step inside my gate, and remove my chapan and chadar. Now I'm someone's boss, motherhood returns to me as little steps run to greet me, and I receive a kiss from my adoring husband. Now I'm free to his loving and gentle eyes which know and enjoy my curves, free to once again be under the protective umbrella of being a wife, mother, friend, colleague, boss, niece, sister, daughter, woman.

Showing posts with label member care in risk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label member care in risk. Show all posts

Friday, November 3, 2017

What Pierces Your Heart?

New Video/Audio teaching on Luke 2:25 and an invitation to join what God is doing globally, especially among Muslims.  You will be inspired to join His work!  Go to the Teaching page, or click the links below.

For the video, please contact me with a verifiable identity and I will send the link and password.

For Audio, simply click here. 

Make sure to follow along with the power point here. 

Let me know what God stirs in you!

--Anna

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Unhelpful Things People Say in Risk #7

This series is based on real statements actually heard in risk situations.

#7 "This Too Shall Pass."

A worker is sharing a risk situation with a veteran on the field or supporter back home, not knowing what to do, and receives this response, "This too shall pass." Being on the receiving end of this statement, a "tape" of synonymous thoughts implied by this statement begin playing in my head:
  • "I'm making too big of a deal about the risk, threat, danger - whatever it is that is causing my anxiety.
  • "I'm being weak, not strong like the other person, because clearly that threat isn't bothering them.
  • "I'm reading the situation wrong"
  • "I would know this if I had been here as long as him/her.

I've always found Daniel 4:3 to be so inspiring and calming - God's Kingdom will go on forever and ever. It helps me to keep my eyes up to know that one day, all will be made right.  But it still doesn't answer the urgent question, the urgent demand, of knowing what to do TODAY.

There are no guarantees that "it shall pass," so it seems a bit condescending and arrogant to suggest that one knows this.

As with all the previous unhelpful statements discussed, a worker needs help in discernment and decision making when they share.  Giving a trite statement like this is really self-serving for the individual saying it, and is slothfulness of soul because there is an unwillingness to really help the worker sort through what is the risks, dangers, threats.

Let's be the spiritual mothers and fathers needed by all those serving in dangerous places and graciously and humbly help those trying to work out what it means to persevere in hard situations.


Go To:
Unhelpful Things People Say in Risk #6

Monday, September 11, 2017

Theology of Failure

Perhaps aging develops a more pragmatic attitude towards failure, or perhaps simple the sheer guts to persevere in overseas ministry for more than 23 years and experience deep failure and mountain top successes have given me the ability to embrace failure a little easier.

I'd like to hope that my life exemplifies the old adage "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger" (and wiser).

I was startled by this idea of a God-sanctioned Theology Failure in a teaching by Kenneth Bailey.  He stated that Jesus gave his disciples a "theology of failure" when he sent them out in Mark 6:6-13.

Here is what Kenneth Bailey has to say,
He essentially tells them: If you are welcomed into any home - well and good - fulfill your ministry while based in that place and don't move about looking for more comfortable lodgings. If they do not receive you, shake off the dust "under the feet." This refers to the dust stirred up by your feet that permeates your clothing. Shaking it off is a symbolic gesture that means "I am finished with you and am leaving. Furthermore, as I leave, I take nothing from this house, not even its dust" (Acts 13:51, 18:6). This dramatic gesture can help the apostles leave behind them any lingering sense of failure. It frees them to go on (like Paul and his band) to the next home or village "filled with joy and the Holy Spirit" (Acts 13:52). Having tried and failed, they must move on. It is astounding to see Jesus on this very first outreach beyond the range of his voice offering advice on how to deal with failure. This extraordinary exit strategy is in harmony with his entry strategy - to go on need, not in power and conquering or with aid to ensure a welcome. 
What an astonishing and equipping idea - to equip the newest generation of global workers with the idea of a theology of failure. What a freeing idea! 

You mean it's not all up to me? 

I can be sent into a high-risk, abrasive and war-torn culture where I don't know the language very well, where the Mullah's preach against foreigners on a weekly basis, where stones are thrown at me, where the people (my neighbors) don't like me simply because I'm American, (or Western, or educated, or a Christian) and I can accept that some will accept me (and Christ) and some will despise me (and Christ)? 

How much better would our folks thrive on the field if they embraced this teaching of Jesus! Would that His Body affirms His people for faithfulness not apparent success driven by numbers.

He does.

Friday, March 3, 2017

Psalm 62 - Audio Teaching: Cultivating Silence and Becoming Unshaken

Recently, I taught on Psalm 62 in Cappadocia at a ladies retreat. These two audio recordings are now available on the Bible Teaching page. 

Listening for God when surrounded by Overwhelming Need and Uncertainty

"Jesus Christ is alive and here to teach his people himself.
His voice is not hard to hear; his vocabulary is not difficult to understand. But learning to listen well and to hear correctly is no
small task."

Richard Foster, Sanctuary of the Soul

Unshaken! In the Face of Unrelenting Violence and Evil

Both of these are an internal heart posture that can be developed within us.  What happens for you as to listen for God and consider your own resiliency and steadiness during uncertain and challenging times?

Psalms 62 - Perhaps these teachings will provoke some questions you’ve not considered in awhile, perhaps unlock some place you’ve been stuck.

What you won’t hear is a simple 3-step solution, a moralistic message on what you need to do right or more of.....Sometimes, the question IS the answer – because He wants us to sit with it for awhile.


Wednesday, February 8, 2017

White Male Effect (WME) and Cross-Cultural Risk Perception


Introduction
There are numerous secular studies on gender and socio-economic differences of risk perception.  A cursory examination will help us in the spiritual endeavor of cross-cultural risk understand how to apply some of this awareness in a wise way as we assess risk as a team in a dangerous, front-line environment.

The goal of this article is to elevate unity and more effective communication between genders and international teams as we work for a common eternal purpose.  Any time we can increase personal awareness of the individual, it will help us understand others better. This reflects the Trinity, as we seek to understand and know ourselves and each other more deeply. We love more deeply that and whom we know.

It is important to only cautiously make generalizations of risk perception between gender and culture groups.  More research and clear methodology of research needs to be done (by those in the clinical mental-health fields).  When using secular research on risk, only some of the research is really helpful to our purpose.  We need to carefully weigh the strengths and weaknesses of that data. Sometimes I re-word the research quotes in order to make it more understandable for the rest of us!

As I often repeat in our RAM Training, the secular research on risk began looking at business and gambling risk, although now it is much more broad and includes many of the modern-day risks we all face as a global family.  So we have to take the data with "a grain of salt" since we are engaged in what is clearly a high-risk endeavor but we do have the power of the Holy Spirit Who helps us to respond differently then all the data can possibly predict!

Additionally, more research on analyzing the secular data and applying it is a skill of analysis and synthesis. I welcome critical feedback on where I have wrongly interpreted and applied the psychological research.

Studies on WME
In general, numerous studies suggest that white males tend to rate risk lower, and less problematic than women and all other culture groups.1  Women in general feel more vulnerable in risk,2  especially in types of risk where there are social inequalities and where the "less powerful" are more subject to risk.  This seems to fit the scenario for men and women where Christ-following foreigners are living in a hostile extremist environment!

Men who rate risk lower than others:

"tend to be better educated, had higher household incomes, and were politically more conservative. They showed greater trust in authorities and institutions, were anti-egalitarian and did not want to share [power to make decisions on risk with the general public.]"3

Being anti-egalitarian is especially problematic in the mission field and Church. More women are serving as missionaries then men (see the discussion at the bottom on this debated statistic).4  Males in leadership demonstrate wisdom to listen to their teammates with humility because human lives are at stake in the risk situation.  The Biblical principle of stewardship of Kingdom resources means that we carefully listen to both men and women who are risking their lives on the field.

Historically, white males have generally experienced less vulnerability and perceive less injustice in their experience, thus rate risks lower than all other groups. Gender and to a lesser extent race, remains a robust predictor of risk perception.5

Another thesis on differences in risk perception are related to perceived power, control, and vulnerability.

"This thesis would suggest the gender and race differences that are regularly found in risk perception originate not just because of substantive differences in power to control risk but also because people with less power over risks feel more likely to be at risk and feel risk to be inequitably distributed" (Satterfield, et al., 2004). 

There are several influencing factors to consider when evaluating a team's response to risk and their readiness to remain in or press forward in cross-cultural risk.

Factors to consider are a person's perceived vulnerability as well as exposure to a risk and their perceived lack of power or control over the risk and outcome will cause them to rate risks much higher than others (with more power and control).

Researchers are trying to look at causes other than the White Male Effect (WME). Is it possible that gender differences are less significant than social inequity? When one group of researchers looked at this in Sweden (Olofsson and Rashid, 2011), they found that

"Ethnicity serves as a marker of inequality and discrimination in Sweden. Consequently, ethnicity, in terms of foreign background, mediates inequality resulting in high risk perception."6

This only confirms what we already know and experience on a daily basis - we feel at higher risk being a foreigner in a strange land!  I am much better educated as a white woman, having 4 degrees, but as a minority foreigner living in a Muslim extremist culture, I definitely feel much more at risk in general. I appreciate this scientific research by psychologists and Dr. Breakwell who makes it understandable for me, but sometimes I just want to say, "Of course! I didn't need research to tell me that!"

A person's perceived vulnerability is evaluated both in how they are handling it mentally and materially.  Mental vulnerability can be explored in dialogue, helping someone evaluate their self awareness of their anxiety level.  It also incorporates discussion on exposure to multiple stressors over time.  A sense of vulnerability is increased when being subject to multiple stressors and hazards.

This is similar to stress resiliency training, where we teach front-line workers that "stress is accumulative." In the same way, it seems that the feeling of vulnerability is also cumulative: exposure to multiple streams of hazards (threat of kidnapping, murder, robbery, rape, sexual abuse on the street, etc) at one time wear a person down and cause them to feel more vulnerable in general.

Some Beginning Application for Cross-Cultural Risk
The issue of gender on risk perception impacts risk decision-making, communication, and risk management. Becoming aware of the background factors of how people perceive the level of risk will help us to ask better questions of one another.  Leaders who are aware of these issues will actually cause their teams to have increased trust in their leadership, simply by taking the time to listen to the fears and the perceived level of risk, and not dismissing it.

When I shared about the WME with a group of white male missionaries in October 2016, I asked them what suggestions they have for other white men about addressing this issue.  They promptly responded with: "Include women and other nationalities in the risk assessment and mitigation."

As a woman regularly living in a risk situation with children, I would add the following: It is easy to respond to someone's feeling of vulnerability and anxiety in risk with facts, figures, and a rational danger response.  I would encourage leaders, whatever color and gender they are, to listen well and be slow to try to "fix" the other person, even when you disagree with the risk perception they are sharing. As a leader, it is important to listen for the underlying fear, but also for their intuition, and for the Holy Spirit's voice through those He has given you to shepherd and lead through risk.

1. Breakwell, Glynis. The Psychology of Risk. 72.  
2. Ibid., 74
2. Ibid., 73. 
4.  Barret and Johnson's report suggests otherwise, but see the discussion here. I would concur that Barret and Johnson's findings do not seem to be consistent with the anecdotal evidence. It would be helpful to know how they calculate there are more men then women on the mission field, as that number does not seem accurate historically or today. See their report and the discussion here: http://oscaractive.ning.com/forum/topics/shocking-mission-statsfacts 

http://www.gordonconwell.edu/ockenga/globalchristianity/resources.php
Farther down on the Oscar page, Marti Smith pasted in a portion of an article she wrote on men and women on the mission field. Marti Smith said:
In many places and kinds of work there are many more women than men... but if you add together all kinds of missionaries everywhere the trend is not so strong, as Mike points out. Wonder how they get those figures? But here are some more anecdotal things I used in a paper on the topic.
A. The Significant Presence of Women in Missions
In spite of the challenges women in many times and places have faced by following God’s call in missions, they have followed him in numbers. By 1910 more women than men were serving in missions. (1) In the coming years the numbers of women would continue to climb until women in some areas outnumbered men by 2:1. (2) Statistical studies on the topic are few, but one in the late 1980s, a survey of 19 mission agencies representing 20,333 missionaries, showed that 56 percent of them were women, with unmarried women outnumbering unmarried men six to one. (3) A more recent report, from 2002, found that some 54 percent of Southern Baptists’ 5,241 missionaries were women, about a fourth of them single. (4)
In short-term missions as well as in situations that are considered too dangerous to send families, including many areas with a Muslim majority, the foreign mission force is composed largely of workers who are single, and a majority of these laborers are women. Representatives of Frontiers, which works solely in the Muslim world, report that they are seeing women respond to the call in great numbers. In 2002 women comprised 75 percent of their short-term team applicants. (5)
Anecdotal evidence produces similar numbers. In a 2002 personal interview, a woman working with Operation Mobilization reported that of the 100 people working with her agency in one Asian country, 60 were women and 40 were men; and in ratios that seem fairly typical, these included 35 married couples, 25 single women, and five single men. Colleagues currently studying in Yemen say the expatriate community in their city includes 26 couples, two single men, and 21 single women. We must conclude that women have a significant presence in the mission force: not that of a minority, but a majority.

(1) Ruth Tucker, From Jerusalem to Irian Jaya (Grand Rapids: MI, 1983), p. 232.
(2) Tucker, p. 232.
(3) Howard Erickson, “Single Missionary Survey,” Fundamentalist Journal, January 1989, p. 27, cited in John Piper’s Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 1991), p. 23. The foreword to this book, which addresses single men and women, includes some very helpful thinking on the topic of singleness and includes thoughts from a number of single missionaries throughout history.
(4) Mary Jane Welch, “Obedient and Faithful,” The Commission 65:5 (July-August 2002), p. 8. Also available at www.archives.tconline.org/Stories/JulyAug02/obedient.htm. The Commission is the magazine of the International Missions Board, the mission of the Southern Baptist Convention. Most of the articles in this issue deal with missionary women serving in challenging mission fields.
(5) Frontiers, www.frontiers.org, accessed March 15, 2004.

5. Ibid., 74. 
6. Ibid., 75

Monday, January 30, 2017

Unhelpful Things People Say in Cross-Cultural Risk #1


This series is based on real statements really heard in risk situations.




"I'm ready to be blown up."

Background:


A young father shares his concerns about the current threat level against the international church. The leader responds with, "I'm ready to be blown up."  This leader fits Risk Myths #7, 8, 13, and 14. This leader did not "feel" the threats, and felt he was ready, as a man who had raised his children, that he was ready to be blown up should the building be attacked one Sunday. The leader truly may be ready, but the young father did not feel cared for, and went to another person to share his fears.

How would you have responded to this father's fears?

If it would have been with a Bible verse, that's called a "conceptual response."  The young, concerned father already knows those verses. If it would have been a statement like the one above, implying that the elder had counted the cost but the young father had not, again, it does not address the situational issue of counting the cost of attending church with little ones who have no choice in the matter.

As a leader or member care personnel, we need to be more discerning of what people are trying to communicate by "reading between the lines." Meaning: the underlying issues of the surface statements.

A situational response is what was called for here. There was a direct threat against the church, thus, a very specific risk situation.  The outcome could have been different if the leader had drawn the young father out, asked him to share more about his fears, addressed what mitigation had been done and was planned for by the church, and what more felt needs the young father was aware he had, then the conversation would not have been passed on.

The father could have felt cared for by the leaders of the church, which would have lowered his anxiety and fear level, thus increasing his resiliency in an increasing risk situation, so that the strategic work could continue to be effective as the father was encouraged and could demonstrate joy in a dangerous situation for his family and those he was leading.


Risk Myth 13 and Risk Myth 14 are available here.
Go to Unhelpful Things People say in Risk #2


Friday, January 27, 2017

My Spouse is Thriving in the Risk Situation, but I Am Not!



This statement is not an uncommon experience typically of women in ongoing risk situations. While both men and women have a much higher susceptibility of burnout in risk, it's more often found that a husband thrives in his responsibilities, even as the physical risks increase. The excitement, adrenaline...these all make his work feel all the more significant and important.

However, often in risk, women and children have a harder time.  There are usually more restrictions on movement, less freedom in decision-making (the security situation does not allow you to go there), and the pressure of threat against them and the possibility of the children being negatively impacted weighs heavily all day long on the wife as she cares for the children. Because she has more restrictions, she may feel less significant than her husband, also decreasing her normal resiliency.  

For those who haven't lived long-term in risk, it may be easy to become judgmental of her lack of thriving.  However, living long term in a place being impacted by terrorism, persecution, government intrusion can be life-draining for many.  Even if someone is thriving in this type of circumstance, it is still exhausting.  It is not uncommon for workers to take a short weekend break from this type of situation (a break in a neighboring country, for example), to sleep the first 15 hours away.  

If she is unequipped to process her emotions, (confusion often surrounds the risk situation), if she lacks clarity on their combined calling, if there is a faith crisis, or simply, she has become exhausted from the ongoing struggle to do well in risk, (risk is exhausting) she often has an increasingly difficult time thriving in the risk situation.  Once mom isn't doing well, children begin having a harder time, and then the work of the husband is detrimentally influenced by the negative spiral in the family home.

Learning to "strengthen oneself in the Lord" as David did is a skill we don't often teach or model well.  Also increasing the skill of discerning spiritual reality - what she does and how she does it in the risk situation has an incredibly deep and long-lasting impact on all the locals and expatriates watching.  While she may "feel" less significant, that is definitely not the reality.  How can a wife learn to these skills of strengthening oneself, discerning spiritual reality, and seeing her impact while thriving joyfully in risk until she is called out?  How to we come along side someone struggling in risk, without sounding judgmental or superficially spiritual?

Often times, it is best simply to listen and empathize, and wait to be asked for input, especially if we are providing pastoral care to someone in this situation but we ourselves haven't lived it.  Affirmation is a significant tool to use, and when the time comes, practical advice on how to have bigger margins of time, energy, cultural capacity, and mental/emotional reserve for risk and crisis.


What I mean by this is we often take either the SYIS (Sharpening Your Interpersonal Skills Workshop) or Henry Cloud's material on Boundaries and simply discuss margin in the areas of time, energy, and money. But the risk situation requires even wider boundaries than normal, because the risk and accompanying crisis require their own reserve.  In such places, the culture is not the easiest because of the terrorism abounding. This means workers need to increase their margin for cultural interaction, so that they can be gracious, loving, and wise in time allocation.

Yes, this will mean less "work" will be done, but in reality, workers are often more effective tools in the Father's hands, because they become more focused on what he really wants them to do, and they have less energy for all the extraneous activities. The "excellent" replaces the "good."

A lot of times we tend to be too spiritual and even concerned about theological correctness when caring for someone in risk, when instead, what is needed is a party and a way to relax. In a relaxed atmosphere, when a sense of normalcy is felt, people often naturally refocus and better hear the Holy Spirit speaking inside them or through another in the community.

Having regular periods of relaxation increase resiliency, even though there is more to be done with less people.  We actually increased the number of parties we held as the risks increased, because we needed to spend time with our "sheep" to see how they were doing and help them relax. 

We did something crazy - we chose to pay for an above-ground swimming pool during one difficult time in Afghanistan.  It probably cost us $1000 over a 10-week period for all the chemicals and materials needed to maintain the pool for the children during a long season of restrictions.  However, we reasoned that $1000 was a lot cheaper than years of paying for clinical counseling for our children.  To this day, my children view Afghanistan as FUN and HOME.

I enjoyed sitting by the pool watching the kids - it gave me time to relax and easy entertainment watching their antics.  I invited other moms and children every afternoon from 1-4pm to come and hang out at the pool, so that we could together decrease the sense of isolation we all felt. It helped us to refocus ourselves, be in community, and simply relax and enjoy what was an extremely stress-filled situation. We talked, shared, laughed, and encouraged each other - there wasn't heavy counseling or theological discussion, but a shared sense of significance that we were making it through for His Name Sake.  We were all pretty aware we were not leaving without paying a huge price - many in the community were running a low-grade situational depression, but it didn't mean an absence of joy, it was just HARD.  But it was joyful - and we saw people coming to Christ in numbers never-before seen.

The risk moment is an honor to steward, and it is that - something to steward carefully. Because it is a significant way He pushes His kingdom forward, we need to become men and women more aware of His leading in the risk moment so we can thrive joyfully as circumstances become more challenging.